This is going to haunt me for a long, long time.
http://media.causes.com/590365?p_id=37516772
Monday, October 05, 2009
Sunday, October 04, 2009
My own personal Emmy Awards, Part I
After a few glorious months of watching cable, I have taken it upon myself to grade the shows and even the commericals we so graciously pay $50/month for. The so-called Real Emmys are a trumped-up lot of fluff that, in my ever-so-humble opinion, have nothing to do with actual viewers' opinions. And, of course, my categories will not resemble the Real ones in any way, shape or form. But mine are probably better. Oh, and I also just threw in a bunch of comments about stuff kinda randomly.
So the winners for 2009, (which I dub the Year of the Nurse Show) are:
The winner for the show with the most superfluous amount of judges, hosts commentators, etc goes to: Iron Chef America. Really, how many frickin' people need to be in the hallowed Kitchen Stadium at any given time? Is Alton Brown that hard up for money? And why can't he just be the one to walk around and report what's going on on the floor? Do we even need that other guy whsoe name no one can ever remember anyway??
The winner for the show that proves a girl really will do almost anything to get on TV: Man vs. Food. Have you ever paid any attention to how many chicks go up and kiss the man I believe to be the nastiest, greasy slob to ever grace a cable network?
The winner for the company whose cheesy commercials are most likely to bring tears to your eyes: AT&T. Come on, tell me that "lost dog" ad didn't make you tear up.
The winner for the stupidest commercial (of the week, at least): The one that begins with "1 out of every 4 women can misread a traditional pregnancy test." Seriously? Then 1 out of 4 women need to be sterilized to protect the gene pool.
The winner for the most over-done theme: Vampire Anything. Really, it's over. Move on.
The winner for the dead celebrity who didn't get near enough coverage because of other events: Farrah Fawcett. Poor, poor Fallen Angel.
And let's not forget our other winners, who are all the celebrities who DIDN'T sell out to a reality show.
Honorable mentions:
Best possible new show ideas: The Kardashians Take Kosovo, Stacy London Will Do a Commerical For Anything, TLC Special Truth Be Told: I Maimed Flav-R-Flav
So the winners for 2009, (which I dub the Year of the Nurse Show) are:
The winner for the show with the most superfluous amount of judges, hosts commentators, etc goes to: Iron Chef America. Really, how many frickin' people need to be in the hallowed Kitchen Stadium at any given time? Is Alton Brown that hard up for money? And why can't he just be the one to walk around and report what's going on on the floor? Do we even need that other guy whsoe name no one can ever remember anyway??
The winner for the show that proves a girl really will do almost anything to get on TV: Man vs. Food. Have you ever paid any attention to how many chicks go up and kiss the man I believe to be the nastiest, greasy slob to ever grace a cable network?
The winner for the company whose cheesy commercials are most likely to bring tears to your eyes: AT&T. Come on, tell me that "lost dog" ad didn't make you tear up.
The winner for the stupidest commercial (of the week, at least): The one that begins with "1 out of every 4 women can misread a traditional pregnancy test." Seriously? Then 1 out of 4 women need to be sterilized to protect the gene pool.
The winner for the most over-done theme: Vampire Anything. Really, it's over. Move on.
The winner for the dead celebrity we're all tired of hearing about: Michael, of course. Did you really even need me to announce the answer to this one?
The winner for the dead celebrity who didn't get near enough coverage because of other events: Farrah Fawcett. Poor, poor Fallen Angel.
And let's not forget our other winners, who are all the celebrities who DIDN'T sell out to a reality show.
Honorable mentions:
Best possible new show ideas: The Kardashians Take Kosovo, Stacy London Will Do a Commerical For Anything, TLC Special Truth Be Told: I Maimed Flav-R-Flav
Aaarrrrggghhhh!
I pride myself on my better-than-average command of the English language. I am quite a good speller, I only use words when I am sure of their correct punctuation and context, and I try not to leave any participles dangling. However, I find myself with the sometimes misfortune to find myself paired with a partner who butchers this language on an almost daily basis.
Quick Example: This summer, I was explaining something to our kids and I used the phrase "as the crow flies" when I was talking about distance. Well, my dear husband picked it up and filed it away for later use. For the next two weeks or so, he used "as the crow flies" as often as possible without once getting it right. Say he was trying to tell me what happened in a movie or TV show that I missed. Instead of giving me all the tedious details ("and then House sneezed") he would say, "well then, as the crow flies he just decided to...." Let's not get into his use of the words "florensics" (yes, he puts an 'L' in there) or "coupe."
Tonight's example: All three kids are asleep and he and I are enjoying a rare treat: actually watching a show together without constant noise and/or interruptions. A man used a word completely inappropriately and I groaned and expressed my displeasure to Dear Husband. Dear Husband agreed. "Yeah," he says, "he's just trying to sound smart. He used that word totally out of contest."
I repeat: aaarrrrggghhhh!!!
Quick Example: This summer, I was explaining something to our kids and I used the phrase "as the crow flies" when I was talking about distance. Well, my dear husband picked it up and filed it away for later use. For the next two weeks or so, he used "as the crow flies" as often as possible without once getting it right. Say he was trying to tell me what happened in a movie or TV show that I missed. Instead of giving me all the tedious details ("and then House sneezed") he would say, "well then, as the crow flies he just decided to...." Let's not get into his use of the words "florensics" (yes, he puts an 'L' in there) or "coupe."
Tonight's example: All three kids are asleep and he and I are enjoying a rare treat: actually watching a show together without constant noise and/or interruptions. A man used a word completely inappropriately and I groaned and expressed my displeasure to Dear Husband. Dear Husband agreed. "Yeah," he says, "he's just trying to sound smart. He used that word totally out of contest."
I repeat: aaarrrrggghhhh!!!
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