Little has 2 huge Saint Bernards. One is very large, and not very friendly. The other is a bit smaller and okay. They try to keep them under lock and key becuase our 'hood has lots of young kids. In case you forgot, this is what a St Bernard looks like:
Anyway, there has never been a problem. As a side note, I should add that while my DH is scared of dogs, I have never been in my entire life. Now, we have recently acquired our own puppy. He is about 12 weeks old, and while he looks like a yellow lap pup, in reality he is just a mutt. Here is Loki:
Okay, so Thursday evening (my *grumble grumble* X age birthday) my DH and our 2 older sons (age 8 & 6) are in our kitchen playing BlackJack. We think it's important to teach them these vital life skills early. We have our big sliding glass door open with the only the screen in. Loki is tied up out back. I glance over between hands and see a gigantic face looking back in at me. It's the bigger of the 2 St B's. My first fear is Loki. This dog could eat him in one bite. My second is that there is only a flimsy screen between this horse and my children & I.
So while the monster, er beast, I mean dog is nosing around the yard, I slip out the front door to inform neighbors their ogre has gotten off it's leash. Trust me, this is something they'd want to know. They are responsible pet owners. The few times the giants have gotten out, you usually see Little & his wife in hot pursuit. Since I didn't see either of them this time, I knew they didn't know. As I go to Little's house, I see the St B coming around the front of mine. It sees me on what he views (rightly) as his porch, and he is coming fast. I am knocking on the door as fast as I can. (I didn't mean to knock that way, but by then my hand was shaking uncontrollably by then.) And of course, no answer. The St B is now blocking on my exit. He is barking & growling and does not look happy. I decide to try Big's house, since it is his son's dog, afterall.I manage to calmy walk past the St B, shaking and looking a lot like this:
The St B is on my ass. He wants a chunk of it apparently. I, naturally, have grown accustomed to having my ass intact. My only thought is that I was going to be mauled on my birthday. Like I said, I have never been frightened of an animal in my life. I know how to handle one that is pissed. I walk slow & calm (though inside I'm giving my best horror movie bimbo scream) and don't make any loud noise or sudden movement. Not only did I envision my mauling/demise, I tell you in my mind, I was attending my own funeral.
But I make it onto Big's porch. Barely. Thankfully, Big's wife answers my knock pretty quickly. When I tell her my problem, she gets ready to bolt back inside, leaving me stranded. Turns out she's scared of the St B's too. Again, thankfully, Big comes out to handle the situation. He yells at the barking snarling drooling dog, and funnily enough, the dog almost looks ashamed of itself. Big gets his slippers on, walks off the porch, and smacks this beast on its nose. I'm thinking Big is going to lose a chunk of his arm. And that this is as good a time as any to make my escape. So I, heroically, jump over Big's porch railing and sprint the yard to my own. I don't think I've moved that fast since I was 15. Husband and kids are at the window, watching everything. They want to laugh, but even they admit that my rail jump was pretty cool.
We tried to go back to our card game like nothing was wrong. DH did shut the big glass door, though. And Loki, my own ever vigilant watch dog, slept through the whole thing. I'm not going to tell him what happened, no sense making him feel bad about it now. But I don't think the St B has forgotten me. I think it's only the beginning.
