Wow. I really am quite stupid

You see, I darn near killed myself trying to retreive a mini Reese Cup Egg from it's hiding spot.
On my computer desk is a little cupboard. This is the kind with no handle or anything, but that you push a corner of to get it to pop open. This desk is really old, and I think we are the 5th or 6th owners as it gets passed from house to house. The cupboard doesn't always pop open when you press it, and I really should've known better than to hide a candy stash there since it sticks so much.

But, as I said, my Reese cup eggs (the white ones, mmmmm) are hidden in there. I finish a ton of housework and stuff this morning and decide to reward myself. But the cupboard sticks. I pound on it for 5 minutes and it still won't pop. **Brilliant idea coming** I grab a thin metal ruler to stick in there and try to pry it open. But apparently this pressboard desk is more powerful than a piece of steel. The ruler bends a little, comes loose, and then flings back and cracks me right in the nose, on that spot on the bridge that brings instant tears to your eyes. Pissed off and blind with tears, I lean against the desk. And my hand hits the cupboard door. And it pops open. Just for that - I'm eating TWO Reese eggs.

But thinking back, this is still not as stupid as the day I almost killed myself with paprika. I had made deviled eggs and the container of paprika was still open on the counter after I finsihed putting most everything away and cleaned up. I picked it up to put it away and a cloud of fine red dust rose from the container. I sneezed, banged my head forward on the bottom of the cupboard and fell flat on my ass on the floor - out cold. I came to just a few minutes later, hand banging, and the paprika still in my hand.